Sometimes new moms, and seasoned moms, struggle with finding balance in their lives and careers. While managing your careers—how do you find balance, and what advice would you give to other moms who may struggle?
MH: It is essential to know your season in life and know when to add or subtract people, places, and things from it. I was divorced when both of my kids were under two years old. Immediately following my divorce, I focused on my kids, myself, and our needs, and what I felt I needed to do to get us where we needed to be for years to come. I think it is so important to roll in “jobs, friends, activities, etc.,” as your life allows you to keep balance. Now that my kids are older, I allow myself to do more. I realize that I needed healthy friendships to bring in balance. I intentionally travel and intentionally set aside date nights for myself. I also make sure that I am attentive to my kids.
Understandably, different moms parent differently. Do you find yourself raising your daughter similarly to how your mom raised you or not, and why?
MH: I have to raise my daughter the way my mother raised me because I think she did an excellent job! I remember growing up hating my mother because she didn’t allow us to do anything—literally. We could not spend nights with friends, weren’t allowed to attend parties or go out socially. Her words of wisdom have shaped me into the woman I am today. And it makes me grateful for her diligence and unwavering commitment to our structure.
Often daughters tend to look up to their mothers. What are traits that you instill in your daughter and hope she admires in you?
MH: I pray a lot like my mother. I devote myself to God in worship like my mother. I allow my children to see my devotion to the Lord. At the end of the day, when they grow up and are out of my physical presence, I want them to remember that nothing is permanent and God will bring you out of everything. I saw my mother do everything with God, and he kept her and sustained her. I intend to do the same.
Being a mom is one of your proudest accomplishments. And you enjoy pouring into your child. What does being a mom mean to you?
MH: Being a mom means I get to bring real humans into this life and empower them. And to be a better person than I am. I get to grow through my weaknesses with them and strengthen them to do it better. In my strengths, I get to empower them to do even better. Life is about realizing your purpose and living it out loud, and my children are an expression of me living out this life.
Parenting/motherhood is so rewarding, but also, it can be challenging at times. What are some things that you would do differently—if you could do it all over again, and why?
MH: I didn’t choose to do this as a single mother. I hoped I would have someone on nights that I cried myself to sleep and days that I was pinching pennies to make it work. I would be more patient with myself and allow myself to make mistakes. Also, I would allow my kids to make mistakes. I look back now and realize I was way too tense in so many areas of my life. Last, but not least, I would have shared more hugs, kisses, and affirmations with my kids.
Every mom is deserving of “me time” because even “supermoms” need a break. What do you do when you need that downtime?
MH: I drop my kids off at my mom’s house and blow the horn while I speed down the driveway!
You have a mom motto that you like to reference when you’re wearing your mom hat. What is that motto?
MH: My motto is, “I gotta keep rolling with the punches.”
Is there anything you would like to add as an encouragement to other single moms?
MH: I think God has a special place in his heart for single mothers. I read in the Bible where it says, “Two is better than one.” But when you’re not in that situation, you have to rest assured that God has your back.
Marian Hollis is a resident of Montgomery, AL. When she’s not wearing her mom hat with her daughter, Marian serves as a real estate agent and works at Alabama State University.
