RRP: How are you navigating the teenage years with your two boys, Leyton (16) and Liam (13)?
RE: We can see the years of hard work starting to pay off. Our relationship and bonding began in the early years. As they get older, we work harder as parents to keep the relationship close without hindering their coming into independence. With our older son, our parenting role turned into more of a coaching role. With our younger teenager, we are still his teacher. As he matures, we will transition into the coaching role.
RRP: How do you teach your children about self-love and self-care?
RE: One of our values as a family is to have fun! We believe in at least one day a week for doing something that refreshes you. No chores, no sports, and no schoolwork. A day of rest to restore your soul. We hope this teaches our sons to embrace their personal needs so that they can work hard to pursue their dreams.
RRP: Your children are homeschooled. For moms thinking about homeschooling their children, what advice would you give them?
RE: I believe that every mom knows what their children need. Our boys went to a public school for years and had the best experience. We felt a calling to bring them home for education, and we have never regretted it. Also, surround yourself with people who will encourage you on the hard days.
RRP: What’s the most unexpected thing you experienced as a mom?
RE: Fear. When I was pregnant, I feared eating the wrong things. When they were toddlers, I was afraid of them not meeting milestones. During the elementary years, I was afraid for them to ride a bus to school without me. Then as they became teenagers, I was fearful to watch my son drive out of the driveway without me. Fear is always there because my love for them runs so deep. The funny thing about fear is that it has forced me to trust.
RRP: How do you handle difficult situations with your children?
RE: We have always taught them that if they come to us first, with honesty, then we can work through anything. If lying occurs, that communicates that the relationship is broken and needs mending. If kids are talking, you can work with what they’re telling you. When they are quiet, we need to press in and figure out what’s going on.
RRP: How do you balance being a mom and a Local and National Serve Director with the Church of the Highlands in Montgomery Campus?
RE: I picture the mom balancing plates on her head, arms, knees, and toes while standing on one foot. Eventually, she will lose her balance, fall, and they will crash down. I like to use the word rhythm and follow the rhythm of the season I am in. I can take it one day at a time and avoid being overwhelmed.
RRP: How do you prioritize your own needs while being a mother?
RE: This was very difficult when our boys were younger. When they were little, I just enjoyed being able to take a shower! Now that they are a little older, I prioritize my time by going on a walk, having a nice dinner date with my husband, or spending time with good friends.
RRP: What values do you and your husband establish for your children?
RE: When our oldest son was about two years old, we established a value system for our family. We would use this to navigate our relationship with our children in how we would discipline, reward, and coach them in life. It can look different for every family. Our values are: Be a leader, care for others, do your best, and have fun.
RRP: How do you stay connected with your partner while parenting?
RE: We believe that our marriage should be the best relationship in the family. It takes work, communication, planning, dates, alone time, and remaining friends. It’s our foundation; the children were a gift to our marriage. We remember to care for each other and forgive quickly. We are not in competition with each other because we are teammates.
RRP: What parenting practices are you implementing from your own upbringing?
RE: One thing my family did well was that we knew how to have fun. My mom was notorious for saying, “Let’s drive to the beach for the day or surprising me with Mcdonald’s French fries and coke after school. Life requires structure, but enjoy it with unplanned experiences.
Rachel Erwin has been married to Chris Erwin for 21 years. They have two boys, Leyton (16) and Liam (13), and live in Wetumpka, AL.
