Have you ever wondered why weighted blankets help us sleep better or why babies are soothed by rocking? According to Stephen Porges, the autonomic nervous system consists of three primary states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal. The ventral vagal state is when we feel safe, connect socially, and rest easily. The sympathetic state is associated with fear, anxiety, and perceived threats (fight or flight). The dorsal vagal state is related to social disconnection, limited movement, and dissociation (freeze).
All people sometimes slip into the sympathetic (fight or flight) or dorsal vagal (freeze) states. To help adults and children better manage these states, we provide activities to increase vagal tone so they can quickly return to the ventral vagal state. Remember, the ventral vagal state allows for healthy social connections, effective problem resolution, and emotional regulation. We increase the amount of time that people remain in the ventral vagal state through polyvagal stimulation exercises.
Choose some of these exercises to do daily with your children when you are all calm to increase vagal tone and time in the ventral vagal state.
Deep and Slow Breathing
- Anchor Breathing Exercise: Breathe deeply and calmly, visualizing an anchor to represent staying where you want to be.
- Alternate Nostril Breathing: Inhaling through one nostril at a time will help you breathe better and more consciously.
- Square Breathing: Imagine breathing in and out while following the sides of a square (inhale and count to four while drawing one side of the square in your palm; exhale and count to four while drawing another side).
Meditation and Mindfulness
- Ask your child to notice 5 things they see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste to train their brain to focus on the present.
- Provide a guided meditation body scan by guiding your child through each part of the body from head to toe, asking them to notice how each part feels without judgment.
Somatic Experiences
- Engage daily in dancing, singing, hiking, working out, walking, or grounding (walking outside without shoes).
- Push against the wall or push a heavy item across the room.
- Have your child cross their arms and hug their shoulders to release oxytocin.
- Give your child a huge hug that lasts at least 8 seconds.
- Make sure your child swings daily (in your arms, on a swing, in a hammock, etc).
- Try having your child sleep or rest in a weighted blanket.
Observing Thoughts and Feelings
- Ask your child to observe themself throughout the day. Ask them to tell you one thing they did well, one thing they wish they had done differently, and what they can learn from the day. This will help them learn to observe their thoughts and feelings without reacting and improve their ability to choose an appropriate response in the moment.
- At the end of the day, help your child accept that they have no control over thoughts and feelings, but they do have control over their actions.
- Help your child identify their values and help them practice those values daily (being a good friend, caring for others, etc).
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
