Angela Schwindt is credited for these wise words, “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” I think most of us go into parenthood with a mix of nervousness and excitement. We want to raise good people who make the world a better place, but we are overwhelmed by the complex realities of parenthood and forced to accept that we are unprepared for the most challenging journey of our lives. I have learned from parents of children with special needs that if we allow ourselves to be teachable, our children will open our eyes to life’s greatest lessons.
Parents of children with special needs know the value of observing their children through the lens of curiosity instead of judgment. For example, through careful observation, they recognize that when their child is pacing back and forth across a room, he is simply calming his nervous system rather than being “hyperactive” or “defiant.” They have gained patience from waiting eight long years to hear their daughter say anything, much less “I love you.”
They have discovered that comparison is the thief of joy from countless days on the playground watching other children engage in a game of “hide and go seek” while their child prefers solitude. They understand unconditional love and sacrifice from countless sleepless nights in the hospital. From helping their child learn how to pick up toys to advocating in IEP meetings, they have gathered wisdom by identifying what battles they should walk away from and what battles are worth disrupting the peace.
They have accepted kindness from strangers who encourage them when their child is having a meltdown in Wal-Mart instead of staring in horror. They know to take nothing for granted and appreciate the value of taking the time to stop and celebrate the smallest of achievements.
They have unmatched self-control from the sheer number of repetitions it takes to teach their child anything she does not want to learn. They excel at persevering through days of overwhelming exhaustion. They absorb everything they can from doctors, nurses, counselors, teachers, therapists, and other parents who have walked in their shoes.
These heroic parents are unbelievably faithful to their children and persevere through challenges that most of us cannot imagine. They are unsung heroes in need of our support, admiration, and respect. The next time you have the opportunity, praise and encourage these parents and children. Spend time listening without judgment, sit with them in the middle of the chaos, and ask how you can help.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
